If you really knew me.....

You would know that I'm still fascinated by the Poké Ball.
That I think lipo-suction technology should be a household item.

You would know that I'm self conscious of other people sometimes.
That I fantasize of a Tony Hawk game that is all of earth, so I could go skate to my house and watch myself play tony hawk.

You would know that I enjoy looking at pictures of people I don't know and then judge them based off appearence.
That I daydream about saving Emma Watsons life.

You would know that I want to be a cool dad.
That I'm planning on training my kid to be the worlds greates badmitten player (little competition)

You would know that I'm Pro-Death
That I believe all animals should be domestic.

You would know that riencarnation scares me.
that I hate touching paper in the morning.

You would know that marraige scares the living stomach acids out of me.
That I love sitting back in chairs.

You would know that I often look through "random articles" on wikipedia.
That me and Chase aren't really "that" close of friends... but still pretty close.

You would know that I'm scared to become an adult because I dont think they'll like my sense of humor.
that I'm very persuasive to myself.

and so forth....

Demetri Martin

I feel bad about being so late on this, i was just really occupied during christmas break messin around with girls and stuff, you know. I wish the blog post was just "what we got for christmas", ive already answered that question like 20 times. One of my gifts was a new x box, if you want to friend me so we can t-bag some newbs on halo my gamertag is "ImaToughGuy69".

 

I think I'm jealous of almost everyone I know, but only jealous of certain things, with a few exceptions like mr. vawdrey, charlie thurston, jude law, and more, no jealousy. There are few people I would actually switch places with though, because theres always something i dont like about them. Like justin beiber is rich, famous, and so much more, but he's still a huge wiener. It's kind of awkward for me because i probably wouldn't switch places with myself either. See chase hansen has it all, potentail, muscles, maddy johnson, kendall, i would probably change places with him actually. I wouldnt switch places with mr. nelson because he has to spend so much time with coach mcgeary. I could go on for hours, but from a writing standpoint, I'll talk about Demetri martin, even though he isn't my favorite I just didn't have time to contemplate this prompt between homework and skyrim.

 

I like dimitri because he is really clever and funny. Because its not hard to be funny when you put other people down or your really vulgar (sometimes like me). And most people who are clever are usually arrogant sluts. But demetri is the best of both worlds and I respect that. I wish i could be as funny as him. Here are some quotes

 

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Take a hit.

This is for the Chase Hansens (or should I say Chase Handsome) that could potentially let everyone down.

This is for the late bloomers, hiding their shame.

For the sterile, that can only create death.

This is for the wannabe jocks, giving away their dignity for fake happiness.

Take a hit.

This is for the Sid Hackfords who can't find mercy in justice.

For the older brother who has to act hard, and the little brother following his tracks.

This is for the dream chasers that found Snorlax.

Take a hit.

This is for the homeless.

For the catholic trying to hide from God.

For the teenage driver that took a life too send a text.

This is for the addicted with families.

For the graduate working a temp job.

Take a hit.

This for the ones who try to be the change and end up the same.

For the lawyer's son who wants to be an actor.

For the highschoolers who look up to lil Wayne.

For the victims of abuse.

This is for the foreigner who found freedom and hatred.

For the single child whose dog just died.

Take a hit. You know, the bomb ace dank stuff from up north, boxhot this place fatty style.

Everyone knows that drugs fix everything. People always tell you that you'll get an "addiction". Newsflash: Addiction is fake... along with the government.

#occupywallstreet

Ghandi

I keep forgetting I'm not on the football team.
                 I keep forgetting that Butch will never come back.
I keep forgetting that Victoria's Secret will never love me.
                 I keep forgetting that I'm going to die, even with Harold Minors constant reminders.
I keep forgetting it's not acceptable to fart in public.
                 I keep forgetting foreign exchange students have feelings
I keep forgetting that i cant make love to siri.
                 I keep forgetting that dragon's aren't real.
I keep forgetting that a sword is a weapon.
                 I keep forgetting I'm not allowed to say the N word.
I keep forgetting that Officer Thurston is a real cop.
                 I keep forgetting that mahatma gandhi and muhammad ali aren't the same person
I keep forgetting that I'll never be happy if I'm always working towards happiness
                 I keep forgetting that other people don't think the same way as me.
I keep forgetting that I'll see my mom again
                 I keep forgetting how lucky I am
I keep forgetting that other people are starving
                and that communism is for reals
that other people live in the projects
                that my mom cooks me meals.
I never forget Christmas though

Ghandi Claus

To completely own ourselves is too have nothing worth living for.

this is not the last time I’ve seen the light.

OW: I wake up to Einars norweigen horn, then I get ready to attend my World Class Highschool. I learn some important stuff that will prepare me for college, which will prepare me for a career, which will prepare me for retirement, which will prepare me for death, then what? So after school I got down to the F house and clean some cars for minimum wage, to prepare me for a mission, which will prepare me for the thing that comes after death.
Call: Bill Cosby comes into firehouse and I clean his car for a good tip. When I greet him I crack a joke about chocolate cake. Bill rofls all over the dirty pavement and offers me a spot in cosby and the gang.
Refusal: I accept immediately
Mentor: This guy

Threshold: Bill passes down one of his sweatshirts to me.

Test, Allies, Enemies: Me and Bill find ourselves in troubling circumstances after letting theodorre barrow the family Cadillac, in the meantime Bill is saying the Darnest Things. Allies: eachother. Enemies: The teenagers with the rap and the beep bop n swizzle nizzle cadooble.  Approach: Theo takes  us to the gym, Bills back gives in. what else is new, right?
Ordeal: Claire finds out the bill has been giving the kids some sugar and theo gets a girl pregnaunt.
Reward: Some chocolate cake?
The road back: I stay with the Cosbys
Return with elixir: More choclate cake

Santa is as real as Tim Allen

OW: Tim Allen owns a toy shop and his rebelious son thinks he's lame and doesn't believe in magic or christmas, neither does tim.
Call: I think Tim kills santa and puts his body in his nieghbors car, and finds out he needs to finish delivering the gifts. He's pissed because he's been paying for his sons presents for years.
Refusal: Tells the head Elf it would be redundant to become fat like santa when he wished for Jenny Craig.
Mentor: He meets the head elf who gives him some intimate stairs. The heads elfs chritmas spirit empowers Tim.

Threshold: Tim gets tired of shaving his bearn and other body parts and finally accepts what he has become.
Test, Allies, and Enemies: He faces problems because his son is on the naughty list and his wife gets a pill addiction and tries to sue him for it. He ends up kidnapping his son and making him an elf, any teenagers dream. the enemies are the lawyer people and the haters. 

Approach: The son stops resisting Tim's forceful approach at turning into an elf and they fly off together.
Ordeal: Tim is going to serve hard time in jail for kiddnapping his son and smaking mistletoe leaves.
Reward: Christmas comes around and the wife drops the case as a christmas present (low on cash)
Road Back: Keeps title of Santa
Resurrection: Still Santa
Elixer: permanantly Santa