If you really knew me.....

You would know that I'm still fascinated by the Poké Ball.
That I think lipo-suction technology should be a household item.

You would know that I'm self conscious of other people sometimes.
That I fantasize of a Tony Hawk game that is all of earth, so I could go skate to my house and watch myself play tony hawk.

You would know that I enjoy looking at pictures of people I don't know and then judge them based off appearence.
That I daydream about saving Emma Watsons life.

You would know that I want to be a cool dad.
That I'm planning on training my kid to be the worlds greates badmitten player (little competition)

You would know that I'm Pro-Death
That I believe all animals should be domestic.

You would know that riencarnation scares me.
that I hate touching paper in the morning.

You would know that marraige scares the living stomach acids out of me.
That I love sitting back in chairs.

You would know that I often look through "random articles" on wikipedia.
That me and Chase aren't really "that" close of friends... but still pretty close.

You would know that I'm scared to become an adult because I dont think they'll like my sense of humor.
that I'm very persuasive to myself.

and so forth....

Demetri Martin

I feel bad about being so late on this, i was just really occupied during christmas break messin around with girls and stuff, you know. I wish the blog post was just "what we got for christmas", ive already answered that question like 20 times. One of my gifts was a new x box, if you want to friend me so we can t-bag some newbs on halo my gamertag is "ImaToughGuy69".

 

I think I'm jealous of almost everyone I know, but only jealous of certain things, with a few exceptions like mr. vawdrey, charlie thurston, jude law, and more, no jealousy. There are few people I would actually switch places with though, because theres always something i dont like about them. Like justin beiber is rich, famous, and so much more, but he's still a huge wiener. It's kind of awkward for me because i probably wouldn't switch places with myself either. See chase hansen has it all, potentail, muscles, maddy johnson, kendall, i would probably change places with him actually. I wouldnt switch places with mr. nelson because he has to spend so much time with coach mcgeary. I could go on for hours, but from a writing standpoint, I'll talk about Demetri martin, even though he isn't my favorite I just didn't have time to contemplate this prompt between homework and skyrim.

 

I like dimitri because he is really clever and funny. Because its not hard to be funny when you put other people down or your really vulgar (sometimes like me). And most people who are clever are usually arrogant sluts. But demetri is the best of both worlds and I respect that. I wish i could be as funny as him. Here are some quotes

 

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Take a hit.

This is for the Chase Hansens (or should I say Chase Handsome) that could potentially let everyone down.

This is for the late bloomers, hiding their shame.

For the sterile, that can only create death.

This is for the wannabe jocks, giving away their dignity for fake happiness.

Take a hit.

This is for the Sid Hackfords who can't find mercy in justice.

For the older brother who has to act hard, and the little brother following his tracks.

This is for the dream chasers that found Snorlax.

Take a hit.

This is for the homeless.

For the catholic trying to hide from God.

For the teenage driver that took a life too send a text.

This is for the addicted with families.

For the graduate working a temp job.

Take a hit.

This for the ones who try to be the change and end up the same.

For the lawyer's son who wants to be an actor.

For the highschoolers who look up to lil Wayne.

For the victims of abuse.

This is for the foreigner who found freedom and hatred.

For the single child whose dog just died.

Take a hit. You know, the bomb ace dank stuff from up north, boxhot this place fatty style.

Everyone knows that drugs fix everything. People always tell you that you'll get an "addiction". Newsflash: Addiction is fake... along with the government.

#occupywallstreet

Ghandi

I keep forgetting I'm not on the football team.
                 I keep forgetting that Butch will never come back.
I keep forgetting that Victoria's Secret will never love me.
                 I keep forgetting that I'm going to die, even with Harold Minors constant reminders.
I keep forgetting it's not acceptable to fart in public.
                 I keep forgetting foreign exchange students have feelings
I keep forgetting that i cant make love to siri.
                 I keep forgetting that dragon's aren't real.
I keep forgetting that a sword is a weapon.
                 I keep forgetting I'm not allowed to say the N word.
I keep forgetting that Officer Thurston is a real cop.
                 I keep forgetting that mahatma gandhi and muhammad ali aren't the same person
I keep forgetting that I'll never be happy if I'm always working towards happiness
                 I keep forgetting that other people don't think the same way as me.
I keep forgetting that I'll see my mom again
                 I keep forgetting how lucky I am
I keep forgetting that other people are starving
                and that communism is for reals
that other people live in the projects
                that my mom cooks me meals.
I never forget Christmas though

Ghandi Claus

To completely own ourselves is too have nothing worth living for.

this is not the last time I’ve seen the light.

OW: I wake up to Einars norweigen horn, then I get ready to attend my World Class Highschool. I learn some important stuff that will prepare me for college, which will prepare me for a career, which will prepare me for retirement, which will prepare me for death, then what? So after school I got down to the F house and clean some cars for minimum wage, to prepare me for a mission, which will prepare me for the thing that comes after death.
Call: Bill Cosby comes into firehouse and I clean his car for a good tip. When I greet him I crack a joke about chocolate cake. Bill rofls all over the dirty pavement and offers me a spot in cosby and the gang.
Refusal: I accept immediately
Mentor: This guy

Threshold: Bill passes down one of his sweatshirts to me.

Test, Allies, Enemies: Me and Bill find ourselves in troubling circumstances after letting theodorre barrow the family Cadillac, in the meantime Bill is saying the Darnest Things. Allies: eachother. Enemies: The teenagers with the rap and the beep bop n swizzle nizzle cadooble.  Approach: Theo takes  us to the gym, Bills back gives in. what else is new, right?
Ordeal: Claire finds out the bill has been giving the kids some sugar and theo gets a girl pregnaunt.
Reward: Some chocolate cake?
The road back: I stay with the Cosbys
Return with elixir: More choclate cake

Santa is as real as Tim Allen

OW: Tim Allen owns a toy shop and his rebelious son thinks he's lame and doesn't believe in magic or christmas, neither does tim.
Call: I think Tim kills santa and puts his body in his nieghbors car, and finds out he needs to finish delivering the gifts. He's pissed because he's been paying for his sons presents for years.
Refusal: Tells the head Elf it would be redundant to become fat like santa when he wished for Jenny Craig.
Mentor: He meets the head elf who gives him some intimate stairs. The heads elfs chritmas spirit empowers Tim.

Threshold: Tim gets tired of shaving his bearn and other body parts and finally accepts what he has become.
Test, Allies, and Enemies: He faces problems because his son is on the naughty list and his wife gets a pill addiction and tries to sue him for it. He ends up kidnapping his son and making him an elf, any teenagers dream. the enemies are the lawyer people and the haters. 

Approach: The son stops resisting Tim's forceful approach at turning into an elf and they fly off together.
Ordeal: Tim is going to serve hard time in jail for kiddnapping his son and smaking mistletoe leaves.
Reward: Christmas comes around and the wife drops the case as a christmas present (low on cash)
Road Back: Keeps title of Santa
Resurrection: Still Santa
Elixer: permanantly Santa

Be the same

I'm 17 years old and every year is the same. Whenever I want change, I try it once and everything goes back to normal. My contribution to the world: I go to school, then work, and then I do homework. I play some jr jazz, a little guiter, read some books, watch a lot of TV, take some naps, and the remainder of my time is spent at collin or drews house all year long. Every night I look myself in the mirror, send hate-mail to my pen-pal and cry myself to sleep. My ringtone is "hurt" by Johnny cash. I wish I would hurt myself instead.
Until: I walk to my basement and I begin too tingle. I don't know what I'm looking for but I know I'll find it. Actually I know exactly what I'm looking for. Zelda: Ocarina of Time...... Time to be it again.

Questions: Will Eazy ever lose his virginity?
How many times will Eazy beat this game until he can move on?
Will Eazy ever be able to write a serious post?

 *please listen to "Drake and Josh Theme" by Drake Bell

Plot-Two lives are about to be changed. Meet two 15-year-olds; David Matthews, a typical teen slacker who only loves rock 'n roll and hot girls, and Eazy E, a guy who is a straight-A student, has a job at the local movie theatre (The Premiere), and whose favorite way to spend a Saturday is to study. Yes, these two are very different. But when Eazy's father marries David's mother and the two are forced to live together, Eazy is excited about it but David can't stand his new stepbrother. Meanwhile, David's little sister Sarah tries to make David and Eazy's lives as miserable as possible. "David and Eazy" follows two teens as they learn the lessons of life and have a lot of laughs along the way.

setting - Caucasian suburbs , highly influenced by Gangster Rap

conflict- Unable to determine which house the copy of "tony hawk pro-skater" came from

theme- Death, Life, <3

character- David Matthews, Eazy- E

Scout Oath

He's so physically strong, I have to keep myself morally straight around him.

my country honors straight people, I will not obey on duty. Time to scout out some people... or person.

A reason to live

Death and Life have become popular subjects lately, senioridus is kicking in (lol(classic)) and some of you are asking for a reason to live.

Well here's mine:

sometimes I forget he's human

 Sometimes I wonder if he notices

 You think he fake bakes?

haha he know how to make me smile

 a real gentlemen

*specail thanks to Facebook

Robot

Who cares? It can't love anyways. Just destroy. I'll just get a dog. Man's best friend. Robots don't have friends.

Well, I'm their friend.

Is it fair......to have them be, but not let them be. To enslave them, then misbehave them. Is it fair..... to bring the kernels of justice to a stop, just because we're tired? Is it fair to pimp-slap the first lady, because the kids are doin' pot? Is it fair to play by the rules, when stephen hawkins is the reff? is it fair to consider stephen hawkins a human? is fair to consider a human, humane?  is it fair to civilize animals? is it fair for Savannah Buswell to have virgin lips? is it fair to throw a garbage can? is it fair to consider myself fergalicious? is it fair to not post a serious assignment? is it fair to need reason/raison? it it fair to a robot a chance at life?  is it fair that Bernie Mac is dead? .....or is it fear. what's the difference?

In the end, aren't we all just robots... made in China?

Welcome to a day in my life.

For the full effect of deep emotion and imagery, play "songbird" by Kenny G

I wake up, rub my hands down my chest. It must be chilly

I go into the spread eagle position, then upper dog. Oils all over.

The dim torch reflects florescent lights from my skin.

I throw on my silk robe, kiss my cat (kieth) and head upstairs.

Commando, I walk out the front door for the newspaper.

Just as the neighbor drives by, a dog catches a Frisbee in front of my Wilson.

I smile.

I walk back into my house to the sensual smell of "Dark Kiss"

I get on blogger and admire Kal-el and Coconut Kweller for 8 hours.

I watch Charlie Schmidts piano cat on youtube. Post a comment.

I prepare a bubble bath, and read "seventeen" magazine.

I ease into the steamy water. Hahhhhht........ ooooh..... that's nice

I make a beard out of the bubble. I look like Santa ROFL. 

I shave until my arms are to exhausted to keep going.

I yawn. It must be late. I drink a bottle of elmers glue to get me through the night

I spill. No matter, Kieth will lick it off.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

  

Green Day assignment

I walk alone. I walk alone.

It's raining dead cats and burnt rose pedals. The sky is grey, the dark mark appears. The lack of  color drowns out any color that still exists.

There are tall sky scrapers to one side of me, the front doors are locked with a rusted chain. all the windows are covered with ply wood.

To the left of me Emma Watson is hand cuffed to a railroad. The key is in my mind, but I cant reach it. Ginny Weasley stands next to me, free of death, the sight of her makes me vomit.

There's a soccer ball in the gutter and a motorcycle the gets farther away every time I get closer to it, taunting me until I rip of my shirt

There's a building on fire full of gold and money, I don't go in to save because the money isn't worth anything no more.

a cougar bites me and steals my guitar, he plays it much better than i could. Emma Watson is very impressed.
Chase Hansen tells me to "go long", every step i take i get fatter, i cant run much longer. The ball is coming towards me.... it goes over my head and Micah catches it in the end zone.

I cried out Heaven save me, But I'm down to one last breath, And with it let me say Let me say Let me say..
Hold me now

I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down.

I walk alone. I walk alone.

Dwarfed Creation

A dog (female) wearing sunglasses came up to me and asked:
What do you think about my fur?

I'm thinking about your fur like jews think about hitler

I'm thinking about your fur like russians think about stallin
like tough guys think about bawling
like quadriplegics think about bowling
I'm thinking about your fur like life thinks about death
like life thinks about meth
like jocks think about Mcbeth

I'm thinking about your fur like honesty thinks about a liar
like water thinks about fire
like the Omish think about wires
like Saruman thinks about the Shire

I'm thinking about your fur like Bill Cosby think about rap
like Bill Cosby thinks about crap (Whats the difference, LOL!!)
like thugs thing about the Gap
like everyone thinks about Japs
like fat kids think about laps
like Micheal Jackson thinks about Paps

I'm thinking about your fur like letters think about E-mail
like O thinks about peeing on Q
like T uses V
like E effs G

I'm thinking about your fur like cheating thinks about fair
like hate thinks about care
like tobacco thinks about D.A.R.E.
like steal thinks about share
like muscle thinks about tear
like 1 thinks about pair
like officer Thurston thinks about hair

I'm thinking like tourist think about class
like hybrids think about gas
like intelligence thinks about sass
like butts think about swass

like peace thinks about war
like less thinks about more
like....
Dog: I'm beautiful and so is my fur

Me: I know.... I'm sorry

Love

Love is the beating the water temple with out a water vest. 
Love is the immediate satisfaction you get from itching yourself. 
Love is a tngiable rainbow. 
Love is magic, dark or true. 
Love is what Mr. nelson feels for his wife. 
Love is Marvin Gaye
Love is a robot's greatest desire.
Love is a man and his dog
Love is a clock that's never right.
Love is a song

Dear Chase

I'm really excited for creative writing this year. The kids have been really nice to me. There are some really cute girls in the class, but I'm to nervous to talk to them, especially Chandler (not a dude). I took creative writing because Dr. dre challenged me to express my self, in his song "Express Yourself" by NWA. I might not play football chase, but I like to think writing and football aren't so different. For example, in football your trying to score some touchdowns, and in writing, you trying to get a good grade. Football players wear a cup when they play football; I wear a cup when I write. In football, you need to protect the quarterback from defenders, in writing, I need to protect my self-esteem from football players. It's all very relevant. The point I'm trying to make is I love ventilating my feelings with a pen and paper and I love opening up my imagination to my peers and blog-followers and that's why I took creative writing.

Sincerely, RJ xxx